There are some things in the world that you expect from friends, or at least hope for in a friend. Support is one of those things, isn't it? Or shouldn't it be? Perhaps that was too much for me to ask of a long time friend of mine. Evidently my chosen career isn't up to par with what it could/should be. So he belittles me for it, he brings it up every-so-often and it annoys me. I wish he could be more supportive, but hex not going to be ever perhaps. Such is life, you grow apart from those that you have come to love as friends. Those you knew "back in the day" aren't necessarily the ones you know now. Does this mean I have changed, we've changed, and when we changed we are now so incompatible as friends? I suppose so. Maybe, maybe not.
It hurts to think it but oh well, this is life, mainly my life. The life filled with spooty, soju and everything else.
I have so much stuff!!! So many THINGS! Alas the thing I want with me is not with me physically but only in spirit and heart. He is overseas, loving me from afar, I am here loving him from afar. I hope our hardest times will be behind us soon. I hope that we can cope with actually being together since we have been apart for so long once it ends. I just hope and pray for such. Love . . . does it conquer all? I sometimes think it does, and then I think if it had, every single time, then where would the world be? I shudder to think about it. I think fallen love is a learning lesson. I had to fall out of love from those I thought I would love forever till I found the one I will love forever. The differences between them and him is he loves me, and I love him, and I know it, and am not fooled by it, because although I question our future, I never have to question the love, not anymore.

All of us are travelers lost
our tickets arranged at a cost
unknown but beady our means
This odd itinerary of scenes
-enigmatic, strange, unreal-
leaves us unsure how to feel.
No postmortem journey is rife
with more mystery than life
~ The book of counted sorrows

So questions arise every day,
when each life is stolen from the light,
and things fall to the limelight.

Is there something out there for me?
This thing called heaven does it exist?
Do I care?

There is a place I call heaven,
but I have yet to know it.
I only dream of it, I only hope for it.

So be it.

As it was and always will be.

Hello world, its me again. I'm in Vegas again, another day, another .25 cents. Theres another reason I supose for me to write this blog, its theraputic, and I haven't done it in awhile. I miss this, I wish I could blog every day, but life doesn't work that way, I don't have that much spare time. I wish I did, but I don't. So I just got back from vacation, it was nice. I met my hubby's family for the first time and he met mine. It went well I supose, its one of those things you worry about without any real reason to worry. I wont be able to see him again for a very long time, it makes me sad, very very sad. There is nothing else to say.